TGIF

Social Studies 5: "A volcano erupts in hawaii in 1750.Causing massive desctrution.Also causing people to evacuwqait.Causing over 1 millons dollars worth of damage.In 1959 hawaii becomes americas 50 state.So hawwaii isnt just know for beaches.It also know as the 50th state.And that is my two paragraphs."

Culinary Arts: "It took me nearly two hours to complete this recipe, I had an issue with the dough when I had to leave it in a warm area of the kitchen; the dough became soggy, because one of my cats knocked over a glass of water."

Culinary Arts: "I did not invite anyone to try this recipe; because it would have been weird to be on the phone and ask someone to “Come over and try my bagels,” there is a certain level of confusion that would have erupted from their side of the conversation at that point."

English 8 (a chat sent by another long-suffering coworker):
" [Teacher]: Hello. How may I assist you?
[Student]: Hi Who is the Auther for the book The diary of Anne frank
[Teacher]: Anne Frank.
[Teacher]: It is her diary
[Student]: At the side were it tells you the all the topics that we are doing this year it saids The diary of Anne Frank
[Teacher]: Right.
[Teacher]: This is a true story. This is the actual diary of a little girl in WWII.
[Teacher] A girl not that much younger than you.
[Teacher]: Can I help you with anything else?
[Student]: Yeah i dont know whi the Auther is
[Teacher]: I have already told you that the author is Anne Frank.
[Teacher]: Several times. "
I feel your pain.

Forensics: "Fingerprints are the patterns of lines and grooves on the surface of the fingertip. They provide improved grip. Fingerprints were first used in the United States to grip the pen that signed the Declaration of Independence."

In case you're wondering, and just so you can appreciate how astonishingly wrong that answer is, the correct "first use" of fingerprints in the US was by Gilbert Thompson in 1882 to prevent the forgery of his documents. But, you know, presumably he also used his fingerprints to grip things.