Love Shack

Government: "Quartered- Penalty for high treason in Great Britain. When the colonists wouldn't let soldiers shack up in their homes."

Hot stuff baby this evenin'!

You Keep Saying That Word - I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Government: "Quartered means to cut or divide into four equal or nearly equal parts. The soldiers during the American revolution were quartered into the home of the people."

This sounds a bit messy.

Tumble Once for Yes

Algebra: "1. If a person knows no Arabic words, is it possible for him to learn the meaning of an Arabic word from an Arabic dictionary?

1. No it is now because the dictionary only tells the person in acrobat language."



To My Fellow Colleges

Government: “Hello and goodmorning my fellow colleges I am here today to convince you all to […] I am not certified in this industry but i have gottin information from certified worker in this industry that The engineers recommended that the work begin there, because it was the largest and contributed the most water to the River.”

I'm not sure which of The engineers are his colleges, but my colleagues and I will laugh either way.

SS5: “The first lair of the the rain forest is the canopy.”

This is where Voldemort lay in wait for years.

Forensics: “The first place was Britian, it changed alot in the 20th century. The second place is England.”

Ah. I see now.

Teacher Appreciation

After receiving a poor grade on yesterday's berri-berri Economics response, one darling student sent this gem to a teacher:

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.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
..........................'...../
..........''............. _.·´
..........................(
..............................


Excellent use of time, I'd say.

Crop Tales

Economics: (research project essay) "my great grand father lived through the great depression he didnt die im still alive, hes still alive because he has a brain. the end"

If only I too had a brain.

Economics: (student response to a question about supply and demand in a farming country where crops have been destroyed by a hurricane): "fruit prices rise, people lack vitamins, get berri berri and die no one cares."

Please. Take your bleeding heart elsewhere.

Motivational Speaking

Forensics: "At first, I decided that the video was too boring, and I think I did not pay very good attention for that reason. Of course, then when I had to answer the questions, I wished I had observed more about the situation. I got very few details correct."

A+ for ... honesty?

No, It's Not About FarmVille

Some class: "More major seeds were planted in me that summer."

I'm just going to go ahead and leave that one out of context.

"No man, Alaska's Not a State"

Government: "The Ordinance made the United States stronger because it branches out to others territories which gave them power to become states and now we have the 51 states."

This one is particularly hurtful because I've heard so many students make it...

Government: "If u wannabe be 100% honesty did God really have anything to do with country making states?"

Aside from being wildly grammatically incorrect, this has 100% honesty nothing to do with the question.

Use A Dictionary

Government: "10. Suspended - A Cryogenic Nightmare is an interactive fiction computer game written by Michael Berlyn and published by Infocom in 1983."

Yup, that's the correct definition. How did you know that's what I wanted?