Monday, August 31, 2009

The Great Peanut War

Government: "The war on terror has killed many American soldiers and reporters, and hurt many families in the U.S. I myself, do not think we should be at war at all. America is not improving relations with other countries by fighting with Iraq. It was a few terrorists who harmed us, not a few countries. In falt, more people die every year from peanut allergies, than terrorism. Why aren’t we at war with peanuts?"

You know, I've been wondering that myself.

Some class: "We are constantly giving criminals the upper hand by protecting unnecessary freedoms provided by the Constitution such as privacy and search and seizure. "

I must also include here the brilliant remarks of a fellow teacher, upon discovering this gem:

[Teacher]: I'm so anti privacy, I'm pro full frontal nudity.

Me neither, friend. Me neither.

What You Missed While I Was at the Beach

So, sadly I am back at work today. I have been sent some winners this summer but was entirely too lazy to update this until now, when I'm back at my desk.

So, enjoy these fruits of the summer student's labor:

(some of them are long, but trust me, they're worth it)

Health: "Both had been drinking at a party for hours and were quite drunk and having the time of their lives. But that all took a turn for the worst when they decided to drive home drunk. Since ‘John’ was feeling sick, ‘Dave’ decided that he would drive home while John hung his head out the window vomiting. Dave may not have been sick, but he was very drunk and didn’t even notice that his car went off the road for a bit right near a telephone pole that was grounded by a wire. Dave and John finally made it home, and Dave went inside to bed. The next morning Dave woke to the sound of the neighbor screaming. He jumped out of bed and ran outside to find that his friend’s body was sticking out of the window, with blood everywhere and John’s head gone. Unbeknownst to Dave, John was decapitated by that wire when they went off the side of the road; and because Dave was so drunk, he didn’t even notice anything when he left the car to go inside."

You know, that happened to me just last weekend.

College Prep: "Topic Ideas;
rn1. My Pets
Good things about this Idea:
-It will be easy since I know my pets very well
-It will be enjoyable to share their stories
Bad things about this Idea;
-It’ll take lots of thinking
2. My Family
Good things:
-Easy, very easy
Bad things:
-embarrassing! So Embarrassing.
I chose to talk about my pets over my family and myself because I believe it will be a better essay for one and two it will also be much cuter. And also because it will be much easier!
For Paragraph one I have decided to start off with a good grabber sentence then mention my 3 dogs by name and go on to talk about them in Paragraph 2. Then in Paragraph 2 I will talk about my first dog, Onyx, and give some cute stories of when we first got her. Then in the last sentence of the same paragraph I’m going to talk about her and Duke [My 2nd dog]. Once in the 3rd paragraph, talking about Duke the last sentence is going to introduce Lacy [My 3rd dog] and then Paragraph 4 will talk about Lacy. Then in the last paragraph I’m going to give a short cute story with all 3 then an ending sentence!
For the first paragraph it will be easy to introduce my 3 dogs, but for the 2nd when I talk about Onyx I’ll have to say how we got her then tell more about her in the same paragraph. As for the 3rd involving my dog Duke, I’ll again tell a story of how we got him then a story. The 4th will go the same way of how we got Lacy then a story. And the last paragraph will explain a good story of all 3 then an ending sentence.
My possible grabber sentence Idea’s;
3. Me, My dogs, And their stories!
My Ending Sentence Ideas;

2. Don’t forget about my 3 babies and their cute stories!

-I like it, but I don’t want to keep saying cute all the time so that’s bad."

Well, if that doesn't get you accepted... i'm just not sure what will.

Government: "Many people were thankful because George W. Bush was elected as President and restored honor and dignity to the Oval Office that was once full of scheming and democratic thinking."

Health: "I interviewed Billy Bob Brown. Billy became angry because he missed his calf. When Billy missed his calf, he jerked on his horse, and when he got out of the arena threw his rope can and wouldn’t speak to anyone. He continued in this mood for the rest of the day. Billy should not have taken his anger out on his horse, because he’s the one who missed the calf not the horse. All ropers miss calves once in a while that’s just part of rodeo. Eventually the evening of the roping Billy realized he should not be angry over missing his calf, and his mood began to improve. "

It's okay Billy, you'll get your calf next time.

American History: "The 1960’s were a time of protest. This movement was started by the youth of the time. One of them was know by the name of Billy. Billy worked at the post office. He lived in an apartment building with his roomy named Joe. They owned a hippy van and a VW Beetle. They lived in San Francisco. They went to concerts including Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix. They were living the life protesting.
It all starts at a Jimi Hendrix concert. It was at one of the concert halls. Billy and Joe got tickets as soon as they heard he was coming to town. They decided to take the hippy van to the concert. So they loaded it up and headed out to Los Angeles to get to the concert. They decide to take their friends, John, Jack and Jill. On the way there, when they are going through the middle of nowhere, they see something flying in the air. They think it is a UFO so they follow as fast as they can to see if they can identify it. But then they go off the road because a dip in the road sent them out of control. They go spinning into a coyote and Jill says, “Dinner!!!” They then roast the coyote on a campfire that they build. As soon as they finish they all pass out in the van.
As they wake up the next day they find that all their LSD has disappeared. Then they search for it and notice Jack is not there but they see a finger next to the campfire. They are all stumped by the finger and what happened to Jack but they decide to just keep going so that they can go to the concert. A few miles up the road they hit a bump in the road. They get out to see what it was and it was Jack’s head. This freaks them out. They decide they will continue and leave all these events behind them when Jill gets really sick. She starts throwing up. In the puke they find some human organs. Then they realize that they must not have eaten a coyote but it must have been Jack and that the LSD must not be missing but they must have used it.
They finally arrive in Los Angeles with a day to spare before the concert. Then they give away Jack’s ticket to a hippy that they see walking on the streets of Los Angeles. After that they go to the concert. Even though they used all of their LSD along the way to Los Angeles they find some more people who have a surplus. So Billy, John and Jill join them. They have a great time at the concert. Jill then finds out that she has become pregnant but no one knows who the father is as they were not in their minds as they were on LSD for most of the trip.
If the ride there was weird it was nothing compared to the ride home. "

Maybe this is the same John who later gets decapitated while drinking and driving. Either way, I think this kid's family needs to go on Wife Swap and learn a little more about how the other folk live...

American History: ""Mommy where are you going I asked to a party she replied, "do you want to go"(I already knew what she was going to say because we are always going to parties) Sure I said. Holly (my mom) said go get your disco mini skirt and tights. I went and got dressed, while my mom was smoking what she once said was called a pipe. Mommy screamed and said we’re going to be late hurry up. I yelled back okay I’m coming, I ran downstairs mom was already waiting for me in the Chevy. I grabbed a doughnut off the counter and ran out the door. Our Chevy was light blue it was not very nice looking though. Well I can’t complain so much because everyone either had a Chevy or a Chrysler and they all were ugly. When we got there my mom got out of the truck and there were 10 guys standing there they all stood in a line as my mom walked down the line she kissed all of them on the lips. Eww.. I thought then someone picked me up and kissed me on the lips. Well this always happens here in the 60's. Then someone reached up my skirt. Guys are always dancing with my mom and sometimes they are naked. They sometimes dance with me to naked but they do it with her more. My mom and her friends are always taking pills. There is a tall guy that wears disco clothes and (well disco clothes are normal) and he holds up two fingers well I see a lot of people that do that but he taught it to me. My mom said that pill and it makes them fall in love. Ladies and girls in the 60's wear really short mini skirts about 8" long you can see their panties. Guys wear long pants and long sleeved shirts. The food is like all sweet stuff like doughnuts candy and cake. We eat some vegetables and some fruits."

World History: "Well, another day and another war, or at least it feels that way. I am really getting tired of Mother Theresa. "

College Prep: "- Disney Channel - Hannah Montana
• She puts girls hopes up by having a double life on her TV show, making young girls think they can do that too.
• It also makes little girls grow up too quickly where they miss out on their childhood.

-Disney Channel - Disney Princess’
• The little girls who watch them think they are princess too, making their parents buy them almost anything Disney
• Also, makes little girls’ parents Miserable because they have a spoiled Brat in their house.

-Disney Channel - Wizards Of Waverly Place
• Selena Gomez does bad things on her TV show, and she gets away with it making kids believe they can do the same thing.
• The TV show has magic making kids believe they can use magic/spells

• And My final conclusion is that Disney is evil because it goes 120% against God."


Bible : "Being a slave would be awful because you HAVE to obey someone other than the one God you love so much. My reaction would be something like “Really!?” and I’d probly be in shock and not know what to do."

Social Studies: "How was the Quran revealed to the people?

Im sure one of the slaves spilled it out and told some people and it just got out."

Yeah, I think that's what happened.

Sociology: "Race to me? Well, it means: Who you are. Something you can't change. That's what it means to me. Picking a definition, I'd have to pick Essentialist, I think that aligns closely. We are all the same, really, but race is just a barrier between us all. A Caucasian could walk in, and get special treatment, while a Mexican could walk in, and get screwed over. "

Race to me? Ok, you say go!

English 6: "My grandpa was prejudicus of black peaple but he isnt any more because we went to go visit my grandpa in the nursing home a couple months ago and we brought my best friend Adasia with us (she is black)and my grandpa was very nice to her."

Career Prep: "I don't think i'll enter into the profession of massage therapy because i'd have to be on my feet all day, and some people don't just want a massage if you catch my drift, and I dont find that to be something enjoyable dealing with."

Okay, that's all for now. Enjoy that until more brilliance pours in from this years scholars.