Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Archives

So, I became a teacher for an online homeschool about 2 weeks ago. I now teach social studies, which is particularly interesting because I have a degree in English.

Anyway, since I've started, I've been saving some of the more hilarious assignments I've gotten to share with my friends. The people have laughed, and they have spoken, and thus Have a Blessed Day! was born.

Things you should know to appreciate this blog:
1) Yes, several of our academies are religiously affiliated.
2) No, I'm not making this stuff up.


Culinary Arts (via email): "oh my goodness this bagel recipe is sooo hard!! it has taken me like 6 or 7 hours total! should it be this time consuming?"

Social Studies 3: "1. Because they need some place to sleep at night times, and they need to sleep on the soft leaves not on the cold ground. Nights are so dark and crippy."

Social Studies 4: "About 40% of the Earth's surface is covered by land. 71% of the Earth's surface is covered by water."

World History: Student submits blank assignment for final paper.
This comment is returned with notice of failing grade, "[Student name], Why wouldn't you try to complete this assignment? It has a very big effect on your grade. Blessings, [Teacher]"
Student response, "This was easier to grade."

Social Studies 2: "Jesus is the only hero there is. Here is my story. Jesus was born in Jerusalem. Jesus wasn't born in a house. He was born in a stable. When Jesus was grown up, he was healing people and doing geat things. When people were boing theaffering, a woman gave all the money she had, one penny. Jesus said she gave all that she had and God will bles her."

World History: "March 1890 Dear Diary, I knew this day would come. Today I was forced out of office by Wilhelm II. Although this is a sad day I feel that my time in office was well spent. My plan was perfectly executed and the German states were unified. I have helped Germany establish a good standing in the world. I do hope no one comes along and makes us look like totally Deutsch bags. (note from [student name]: I meant to say Deutsch)"


Social Studies 4: "I disagree with the total control the Puritans’ had over the community. Forcing everyone to worship the same way he or she did. Deciding they were the only ones allowed to vote. Expecting the community to abide by their laws even if they did not belong to the church or agree with them. My question is who died and made them “Jesus Christ.”"


Government: "I think that threats should only be disclosed to the public if it will harm us to know. "

US History: "America improved a lot by these events because now we can see others just as equal as we see ourselves. That that is actually God's main wish."

Social Studies 5: "I am sorry my first paragraph got turned in so many times there is something wrong with my laptop, I guess I should get it fixed. But let's get back to the Hawaiian Sea Turtle He deserve's some attention after all this report is about Him!!!!!!!! HA! I think that this turtle should have a longer time to live since He is endangered. You know it is report's like this that make say : No wonder our teacher get's smarter she has to read our report's."

Social Studies 3: "This is [Student Name]'s mom. I am upset about the weblink provided for [Lesson], Learn all about camels. It led her to an Arab dating link, but nothing about camels. I think the school should be more aware of dangers like this."

Government: "I was baptized around the age of 5 to 9 years of age. "


  1. WOW. I really wonder how public, private, or charter-school kids' assignments measure up to these... lovely, terrifying children.

  2. *Oops, I meant "kids'es's." Wait... NO! THEIR IDIOCY IS SUCKING ME IN!...

  3. I read a lot of college admissions essays. The students might be older but they still say some hilariously stupid things. One of my favs:

    "Frequent guests at Epcot, we had a general knowledge of what European countries had to offer."